You found out the truth about the whole thing, that what you had before weren't totally real, or not making any sense at all; it just sort of bumps you out. You're in a state of shock, denial, confused, and wanting to know the truth behind it.
But you can't. You won't ever find out the truth. You never will. Because the source, was and is never reliable.
It was all lies, made up from some fake puppets engineered to steer a couple of people's lives to living hell/absurdity.
For 17 months.
Out.